You can say I had a severe case of 'Roots' envy. I wanted to be like Alex Haley, and I wanted to be able to. . . do my family tree back to the slave ship and then reverse the Middle Passage, as I like to put it, and find the tribe or ethnic group that I was from in Africa.
One of the great exercises you can do is to stop and acknowledge the colors around you. . . If you're constantly distracting yourself, then you're never really experiencing anything fully. It can cause you to feel like you have no center, like nothing is grounding you.