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How I wish the mass media had christened me Joe instead of Joey. I hate Joey, not going to lie. Nobody I respect calls me it.

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Alison Rosen

Drinking is a fast-forward button; it makes you feel close to a person so quickly.

Buttons, Drinking, Feels, Person, Quickly
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Not all who drink energy drinks are douches, but all douches drink energy drinks.

Douches, Drink, Energy

What do you do when you see a man masturbating at a salad baran actual salad shooterbut wait, I'm single, we're both at the salad bar, we have a lot in common. I like fresh produce, he likes to get fresh with produce. I like nuts on my salad, he likes to nut on his salad.

Men, Nuts, Waiting, Single, Shooterbut, Salad

I feel like I walk a very fine line between wanting someone to be open and vulnerable and honest with me and the listeners, but not wanting anyone to ever feel like I'm exploiting them.

Honest, Lines, Open, Vulnerable, Wanting, Wanting Someone

I definitely feel moved and affected after interviews, but not in a way that's anything other than positive. There are moments that make me want to cry, but not in any way I can't handle.

Affected, Interviews, Make, Positive, Want, Way

Every time someone opens up to me, it just feels like a gift they're giving me, because it's a chance to experience another human being.

Chance, Feels, Gift, Giving, Like
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