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You know, I put my little brother in the movies and he's still in the pictures. My mother makes me put him in the pictures.

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Simon Rich

I was never a cool person; in fact, cool people have always made fun of me. That's why I loved [the Robert Cormier YA novel] The Chocolate War - because the cool kids (not the establishment) were the villains. I totally identified with that.

Cool, Fun, Kids, Loved, War
Same Author Quotes

"It's not just about Jen," he said. "It's about the entire romantic system. Ninety-nine percent of men are in love with the top one percent of women. And yet they often refuse to date us. It's a complete injustice.

Love, Men, Ninety Nine, Said, Women

There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.

Actual, Kids, Monsters, World

I never felt ostracized or made to feel strange by obsessing over The Onion or Calvin and Hobbes. That was considered completely normal.

Completely, Normal, Obsessing, Onions, Strange

I wanted to be an artist after all, and my teachers told me these were the best authors the 20th century had to offer. But these books sucked. They were so boring and sloppy and plotless. And Bob Dylan's lyrics seemed nonsensical to me - almost like he had just gotten high and written down whatever random thoughts occurred to him.

Artist, Authors, Book, Sucked, Teacher, Thoughts

It's easier to be a grownup than to be a kid. When you're a kid, you lie constantly and people are always calling you on it. And when you're a grownup, you lie constantly and people rarely do. Children are constantly being caught. Adults rarely so. Being an adult, you also get a free pass, which means you have to actively be a good person because nobody's around to tell you to do that. Even evil kids will be good when adults are watching. But once you're an adult, no one is. As a grownup, you've got an agency over your own life, which hopefully you use for the greater good and not evil.

Children, Constantly, Greater, Life, Lying, Mean
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