Top Larry David Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Larry David Biography

Lawrence Gene David (born July 2, 1947) is an American comedian, writer, actor, playwright, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television series Seinfeld, of which David was the head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1996. David has subsequently gained further recognition for the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, in which he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself.

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Larry David Quotes

A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied

Compromise, Dissatisfied, Good, Parties, Party

I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

Date, Family, Firsts, Like, Start

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

Art, Concerned, Freedom, Succeed, Work

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.

Affectionate, Day, Happen, Happens

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Back, Crazy, Drives, Exuded, Self, Self Confidence

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Impose, Thieves, Things, Want

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Future, Good, Homeless, Planning, Spots

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.

Continue, Empty Life, Ensure, Forty, Generations, Years

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Fact, Facts, Hey, Loathe, May

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.

Kids, Mom, Mother, Said, Situation, Worlds

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it. '

Birthday, Party, Thinking, Funny, Hey

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

Father, Fun, Making, Stuff, Thinking

Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.

Anytime, Involved, Surprise, Wells

I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.

Break, Challenges, Romance, Run, Running, World

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.

Actually, Casual, Emmy, Umpires, Walk, Walks

I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.

Bar, Bars, Hello, Say, Walk, Walks

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

Humiliating, Involve, Men, Suffer, Suffering, Trying

The addition of nuts in salad. . . I always find to be beneficial.

Beneficial, Nuts, Salad

I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.

Cringe, Make, Occurred, Thought

Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

Bodily, Bodily Functions, Rely, Sex, Sometimes

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