Top Joseph Heller Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Joseph Heller Biography

Joseph Heller (May 1, 1923 – December 12, 1999) was an American author of novels, short stories, plays and screenplays. His best-known work is the novel Catch-22, a satire on war and bureaucracy, whose title has become a synonym for an absurd or contradictory choice.

Read about Joseph Heller in Wikipedia

Random Authors

Joseph Heller Quotes

What would they do to me," he asked in confidential tones, "if I refused to fly them?" We'd probably shoot you," ex-P. F. C. Wintergreen replied. We?" Yossarian cried in surprise. "What do you mean, we? Since when are you on their side?" If you're going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?" ex-P. F. C. Wintergreen retorted

Mean, Refused, Replied, Sides, Tone

What do you do when it rains?" The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.

Captains, Frankly, Rain, Rains, Wet

Yossarian decided to change the subject. "Now you're changing the subject. " he pointed out diplomatically. "I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.

Being Thankful, Change, Miserable, Names, Things, Two

I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.

Away, Negative, Responsibility, Running

He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret

Regret, Sick, Lust, Mesmerized

Actually there were many officers' clubs that Yossarian had not helped build, but he was proudest of the one on Pianosa. It was a sturdy and complex monument to his powers of determination. Yossarian never went there to help until it was finished; then he went there often, so pleased was he with the large , fine, rambling shingled building. It was a truly splendid building, and Yossarian throbbed with a mighty sense of accomplishment each time he gazed at it and reflected that none of the work that had gone into it was his.

Accomplishment, Actually, Determination, Rambling, Work

Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.

Change, Duckett, Found, Nurse, Trying, Wonderful

After he made up his mind to spend the rest of the war in the hospital, Yossarian wrote letters to everyone he knew saying that he was in the hospital but never mentioning why. One day he had a better idea. To everyone he knew he wrote that he was going on a very dangerous mission. "They asked for volunteers. It's very dangerous, but someone has to do it. I'll write you the instant I get back. " And he had not written anyone since.

Everyone, Ideas, Mind, War, Writing, Yossarian

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Farmers, Gave, Humorous, Strong, Work

Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.

Army, Make, Measuring, Men, Thinking

mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

Acceptable, Atrocities, Mankind, Tomorrow, Week

I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.

Live, Misgivings, Strong, Want

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

Dream, Forever, Gonna, Live, Love, Silly

In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

Accidental, Failure, Long, Run, Running, Worked

As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed passionately, he would end up gasping furiously for air and blinking back bitter tears of conviction. There were many principles in which Clevinger believed passionately. He was crazy.

Air, Back, Believed, Crazy, Tears

You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate. " "Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.

Consciously, Corrected, Effort, Hate, Hypocrite, People

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.

Achieve, Lacking, Men, People, Three

Surely there can't be so many countries worth dying for. ' Anything worth living for,' said Nately, 'is worth dying for. ' And anything worth dying for,' answered the sacrilegious old man, 'is certainly worth living for.

Country, Dying, Living, Man, Men

There is no disappointment so numbing. . . as someone no better than you achieving more.

Achieve, Achieving, Disappointment, Envy, Numbing

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

Examined, Funny, Military, Military Leadership, Service, Unfit

1