Top Jacob M. Appel Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Jacob M. Appel Biography

Jacob M. Appel (born February 21, 1973) is an American author, poet, bioethicist, physician, lawyer and social critic. He is best known for his short stories, his work as a playwright, and his writing in the fields of reproductive ethics, organ donation, neuroethics and euthanasia. Appel's novel The Man Who Wouldn't Stand Up won the Dundee International Book Prize in 2012.

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Jacob M. Appel Quotes

If freedom means anything at all, it is the right to primacy in regard to sexuality, reproduction, medical care and death.

Care, Death, Freedom, Mean, Medical, Regard

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Clean, Clean Underwear, Ifs, Optimistic, Underwear

Such is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry about how to extend their lives. This anxiety inevitably shortens my own.

Anxiety, Junior, Lives, Physicians, Relationship, Worry

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

Entitled, Guide, Guides, Poor, Tour Guides

Always warm up the audience with a joke. . . . If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke.

Audience, Funny, Jokes, Particularly, Persons, Warm

I can handle being married for my money; it's being married for my life insurance that gives me pause.

Give Me, Gives, Giving, Insurance, Married

I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square--but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those that I possess in my bedroom and hospital room and death chamber.

Death, Grateful, Practical, Rights, Squares

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

Abroad, Catholic, Extremism, Home, Should

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

Easy, Life Is, Nasty, Short

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

Die, Old, People, Revenge, Win, Winning

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

Having, Like, Partner, Partners, Sex, Spices

Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself smaller to fit inside the hopes of the other, until one of you cracks or stops existing.

Dolls, Nesting, Reflection, Reflections, Smaller, Trying

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Girl, Nothing, Scout, Tombstone, Tombstones, Uniforms

Most people are far more concerned that they can control their own bodies than they are about petitioning Congress.

Bodies, Body, Concerned, Congress, People, Petitioning

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.

Giving, Man, Men, Pounding, Problems, Thinking

Know your load. That's rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins out in front of me one at a time. I'm not going to be the schmuck who shows up in Orlando twobirds short of a dinner party. . . . I know I'm pulling out of Houston with exactly forty-two Gentoo penguins, seventeen Jamaican land iguanas, four tuataras from New Zealand, and a pair of rare, civet-like mammals called linsangs. No more, no less.

Iguanas, Pair, Party, Rule, Two, Zealand

Money spent on vegetative patients is money not spent on preventive care, such as flu shots and mammograms. Each night in an ICU bed for such patients is a night that another patient with a genuine prognosis for recovery is denied such high-end care. Every dollar exhausted on patients who will never wake up again is a dollar not devoted to finding a cure for cancer.

Cancer, Night, Patient, Recovery, Spent

Victory [over homophobia] may require five or maybe 20 years. Yet I have no doubt that "don't ask, don't tell" and same-sex adoption bans will be as unspeakable and inexplicable to my grandchildren as counting a slave as three-fifths of a human being.

Grandchildren, Homophobia, Sex, Tell, Years

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Begin, God, Teenager, Teenagers, Twenties, Wanted

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

Difficult, Persuading, Sex

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