Top Brad Wilkerson Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Brad Wilkerson Biography

Stephen Bradley Wilkerson (born June 1, 1977) is an American former professional baseball outfielder and first baseman in Major League Baseball for eight seasons. Wilkerson played college baseball for the University of Florida, and was selected by the Montreal Expos in the first round of the 1998 Major League Baseball Draft. During his Major League career, he played for the Expos, Washington Nationals, Boston Red Sox, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, and Toronto Blue Jays.

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Brad Wilkerson Quotes

I recently read that Arnold Schwarzenegger collects Hummers. Now we know why Maria's face is frozen in that puckered position.

Collects, Faces, Frozen, Schwarzenegger, Sex

As an enlisted sailor, I don't feel that the Navy is advancing me in rank fast enough, so I'm going to change my last name to Stains. My guess is they would rather promote me than to have to refer to me as Seaman Stains.

Advancing, Enlisted, Names, Navy, Promote, Sex

When you think about it, there is really a fine line between being a proctologist and just being a perverted ass-freak. And according to the judge who sentenced me, that line is called a 'medical degree'.

According, Degrees, Judging, Perverted, Proctologist, Thinking

Tapping melons with your knuckles is a good way of making your selection in the store, but apparently it's frowned upon at the strip club.

Apparently, Clubs, Knuckles, Melons, Sex, Store

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I find it's often in huge tits, too.

Beauty, Beholder, Eye, Huge, Men, Tits

I bet that the best thing about being a hermaphrodite is that you always get to use the bathroom with the shortest line.

Lines, Sex, Shortest, Thing, Use

Women are like wine: I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.

Big, Cheap, Like, Sex, Ugly, Wine

Sure, companies say they're sensitive to their employees' cultural heritages, but show up on casual Friday wearing a necklace made from the ears of your vanquished enemies and all hell breaks loose.

Casual, Companies, Enemy, Friday, Heritage, Sensitive

Light up a spliff and hit the strip club.

Club, Clubs, Hit, Light, Light Up

They say that dog is man's best friend, and I think it's true. My dog does a lot of the same stuff my best friend does, like drool on my couch, mooch my food and hump my wife.

Dog, Men, Sex, Think, True, Wife