Amy Chan Sau-man (陳秀雯) is a Hong Kong actress and Cantopop singer, notable for starring in the File of Justice TV franchise in the 1990s. She is also the elder sister of actress Charine Chan (陳加玲).
Closing the door to toxicity is the most effective way to make space for new opportunity.
Integrity is when your good intentions meet your actions - on a consistent basis.
Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.
If you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with.
Chemistry does not guarantee compatibility.
You cannot teach ambition.
I've learned through the years how to base my identity and sense of self-worth on myself and not others. I've learned the most critical tool of all: self-love. Now, if it doesn't work out with someone, sure, I'll be hurt. But I'll be bruised, not broken. And I may lose my balance, but I won't be wiped off my feet.
Hold yourself on your own. A man's job in a romantic dynamic is not to be your butler, bank account or your father.
Get in the habit of writing down three things you're grateful for every day. Studies show that in a two-minute span of time, done over 21 days in a row, you can actually rewire your brain. Your brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive versus the negative. Seeing things in a frame of positivity and gratitude is a muscle. You can strengthen this muscle through practice.
Spend less time shopping, more time traveling.
Have things to look forward to: Plan a trip, treat yourself to the spa, make plans in the future so that you can focus on what you're looking forward to versus how unbearable your present is. Understand that your brain is detaching. It's the same part of the brain that is activated as a cocaine user feening for their next fix. You're literally in withdrawal. Understand that it takes time for your brain and neural pathways to detach. You're not going crazy - it's just a process, and that process takes time.
There's a great difference between being positive and being delusional.
What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.
You may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.
Sometimes, things need to come undone for better things to come together.
People will become what you think of them. See them for their beauty and they will rise up. See them for their darkness, and they will fall.
Be kind and gentle on yourself. In this fast-paced world, we are so hard on ourselves and impatient with healing. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to speed up the process. Sure, you can numb the pain or distract yourself, but if you don't allow yourself to process the emotion in a healthy way, the pain and darkness just gets buried deep inside you, and eventually comes up in your future relationships. Stop blaming yourself, and instead try to look for the lesson and the growth opportunity.