I had the lunchbox that cleared the cafeteria. I was very unpopular in the early grades. Because I hung out with my grandfather, I started to bring my lunchbox with sardine sandwiches and calamari that I would eat off my fingers like rings. I was also always reeking of garlic.
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
I don't like slugs and tentacles and calamari or anything. Actually, tentacles made me turn into a vegetarian in high school. I'm not anymore, but in high school, we were dissecting squid.