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Greetings, O Great Gazoo. How nice of you to join us here on planet Earth again. (Cael) Thanks, Barney. How’s Betty and Bam Bam doing? (Acheron) Great, if I could only get them away from Wilma and Pebbles. Those women are nothing but trouble. (Cael) Nah, they’re good women. It’s the ones in red who are always the downfall of good men. (Acheron)

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Sloane Crosley

A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else. ' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them.

Animal, Cat, Dog, Options, Say, Think
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I never asked my mother where babies came from but I remember clearly the day she volunteered the information. . . . my mother called me to set the table for dinner. She sat me down in the kitchen, and under the classic caveat of 'loving each other very, very much,' explained that when a man and a woman hug tightly, the man plants a seed in the woman. The seed grows into a baby. Then she sent me to the pantry to get placemats. As a direct result of this conversation, I wouldn't hug my father for two months.

Baby, Hug, Mother, Placemats, Sex, Tightly

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Afford, Ask, Being Alone, Being Single, Love, Love You

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

High, Kinds, People, School, Two, Yearbook

I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.

Creative, Food, Portland, Scene

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Brain, Growing, Like, Reality, Tree, Trees
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