You have been imprinted by people in this world who take power from others. Most people drain each other. Or, what is worse, they are draining you right now, psychically!
A man has no reason to be ashamed of having an ape for his grandfather. If there were an ancestor whom I should feel shame in recalling it would rather be a man who plunges into scientific questions with which he has no real acquaintance, only to obscure them by an aimless rhetoric.