Mason Cooley (1927 – July 25, 2002) was an American aphorist known for his witty aphorisms. One of these such aphorisms Cooley developed was "The time I kill is killing me."
New York is full of abandoned churches. A Godless city, but full of superstitions on every subject--art, money, sex, food, health.
Boast quietly, with decorum.
I reject all evidence that my fabulous beloved is an ordinary person who worries, watches TV, and has bouts of indigestion.
Sulking is silent because speaking would reveal its folly.
Rescue someone unwilling to look after himself, and he will cling to you like a dangerous illness.
Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.
Many count on their disadvantages to cover for them.
A work of art is an echo chamber which repeats what people say about it.
Alone, I am drunk on my thoughts; in company, I am sober again.
A successful restaurant makes everything in it, including the patrons, seem a little better than they are.
Sex is not imaginary, but it is not quite real either.
Everyone fears and courts his own demon.
The etiquette of romantic love is as elaborate as that surrounding the Emperor of China.
If "there is no harm in asking," why guilt and fear when we do so?
I may forget my dignity, but you may not.
Comedy is hostile to profundity, and brings everything to the surface.
The gods are watching, but idly, yawning.
Even the most fickle are faithful to a few bad habits.
I have tried being surreal, but my frogs hop right back into their realistic ponds.
We often mistake the original part of ourselves for a weakness.