Top Marcus Brigstocke Quotes

Marcus Brigstocke Biography

Marcus Alexander Brigstocke (born 8 May 1973) is an English comedian, actor and satirist who also holds French citizenship. He has worked extensively in stand-up comedy, television, radio and in 2010-2011 musical theatre.

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Marcus Brigstocke Quotes

There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

Comedy, Comics, Kind, Making, Staggering, Thinking

All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.

Honest, Interesting, Men, Navigate, Trying, Work

I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling.

Feelings, Hated, Self, Thing, Think, Thinking

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

Accuse, Comedy, Friends, Master, Masters, Trade

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

Compare, Leads, Outsides, People, Unhappiness

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

Determined, Know, Pompous, Self, Understood

Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important.

Important, Lips, Noise, Political, Progressive

No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.

Came, Enough, Lasts, Tour, Want

I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.

Good, Guy, Issues, Self, Shame

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

Across, People, Seen, Storm, Tent, Thinking

Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.

Bully, Israel, Mentions, People, Violent

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

Job, Jobs, Laugh, Simple, Straightforward, Stupid

Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

Allergies, Allergy, Clerical, Exposure, Nuts, Whole

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

Christian, Christians, Church, Faith, People

You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.

Children, Fat, Hug, Know, Lost

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

Inspirational, Motivational, Munching, Music, Running

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

Being Cool, Cardigans, Cool, Mind, Wear

Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.

Care, Dull, Imagine, Important, Life

I've spent a lot of very happy times in Edinburgh as a result of playing virtually every festival since 1996. It's also a beautiful city in its own right, is walkable, within sight of the sea and mountains - and was too far north for the Luftwaffe to have done any damage, hence the spectacularly beautiful architecture.

Beautiful, Festival, Happy Times, Luftwaffe, Result, Sight

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.

Atheist, Bloody, Default, Fairly, Marvelous, Would Be

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Marcus Brigstocke Biography

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