Top Judy Tenuta Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Judy Tenuta Biography

Judy Lynn Tenuta (born November 7, 1956) is an American comedian. She is noted for her brash onstage persona, alternating insult comedy with self-promotion as the "Love Goddess."

Read about Judy Tenuta in Wikipedia

Random Authors

Judy Tenuta Quotes

I would just go insane in a public school. I don't have enough clothes. You have to be Heidi Klum to go to public school now. It's crazy. I feel sorry for these kids, not to mention that the new Secretary Of Education, Betsy DeVos, is against education.

Clothes, Crazy, Heidi, School, Secretary, Sorry

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

Anger, Bad Friend, Enemies, Friends, Friendship, Guts

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Chains, Date, Down, Littles, Top, Turned Down

I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband. Or, a new lesbian assistant. If you want something done, tell a lesbian and the she'll chop down a tree. Something like that.

Husband, Gay, Men, Done, Point

I am a morning person. . . I love waking up, walking & reveling In the beauty of all the flowers and trees. . . . while chugging a 5th of vodka!!! It could happen.

5Th, Beauty, Flower, Morning, Person, Tree

I was born a Love Goddess. My parents, Caesar and Joanne, always told me that I was a little Goddess and Petite Flower. I was a Petite Flower, and I had all these brothers who were always trying to boss me around. I told them, "No. You must kiss my hand or kiss my feet". That's how I became the Goddess.

Brother, Brothers, Feet, Flower, Joanne, Kissing

You have to really kiss up to EVERYONE! Kiss up to anyone you think can help you. That's really the best advice I can give. You obviously have to have an act - but, maybe you don't.

Give, Giving, Kissing, Maybe, Think, Thinking

This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho man and a sensitive man. " I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"

Gay, Macho, Memorable, Men, Says, Sensitive

Sorry, I didn't squat and grease myself and be naked next to Kim Lard-ashian. I mean, no matter what you do - excuse me - you can never compete with her. You can win the Nobel Peace Prize and you can't compete with Kim Lard-ashian's ass.

Sorry, Mean, Winning, Kim, Win, Grease

Love Goddess in training. It could happen.

God Love, Goddess, Love, Training

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.

Healing, Laughing, Want, Comfortable, Experience

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait. "

Amount, Daughter, Mom, Mother, Success, Wait

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears. . . and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

Change, Ears, Eye, Helping, Thinking, Work

Judy Tenuta Biography

Contact Us

About us