Janeane Garofalo (/dʒəˈniːn ɡəˈrɒfəloʊ/; born September 28, 1964) is an American actress, stand-up comedian, and writer.
When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me. '
I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.
Now, granted, there are still as many heartbreaking things going on. There are so many things in the Obama administration to be sick over that certainly didn't change. And also our media, if it's possible, seems to be getting even worse. The alleged news media. And then there are the teabag racists adding insult to injury. But I don't have that same heartbreak anymore, because it's not fresh heartbreak anymore. It's like I'm used to it. I'm sure we all are just used to it.
Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.
I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.
Rejection kills, disappointment only maims.
Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it's important to reach out to others.
I was a 36C or D, and at 5' 1'', I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of an audience was not going to be easy. It would be really hard to get people to pay attention to me without mocking me. Getting a breast reduction to prepare for my career was no different from people who work to get good grades to get into a good college to get into a good graduate school to get a good job. I went down to a B cup, and it was the best thing in the whole world.
The teabaggers - do I know every single one of them? No. Can I see that there's a lot of racist bullshit going on? Absolutely. Would it have been welcome to see more of these "anti-government" types around after the stolen election? It would have been good to see it. I wouldn't have liked to see them with their immigrant-bashing and their stupid signs.
I despise in others my own characteristics.
I was too ignorant to realize, "Oh, this will be difficult. "
I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.
I'm a sucker for any guy with an accent with any kind.
No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!
I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is bad policy.
I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you.
You just need an opportunity and then you yourself have to do a good job, and then you hope that people go, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about her. '