John Irving Bloom (born January 27, 1953), known by the stage name Joe Bob Briggs, is a syndicated American film critic, writer, and comic performer.[citation needed]
Faith is like a kernel of wheat.
It's not a crime to get drunk.
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Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in
I always remind people why The Oscars got started in 1928: It was an effort by the studios to suppress the unions. They started the Academy because all the screenwriters and directors and actors were unionizing, and they thought, "We'll have something that resembles a union, but that's completely controlled by the moneyed interests in Hollywood. " That's what it's been all these years. It's something that reinforces Hollywood's image of itself. The Best Picture one year was Gandhi. Nobody watched Gandhi, but that's the kind of picture that always wins.
A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.
As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.
They'll give you an Oscar if they think you're about to drop dead. The problem with The Oscars is, the average age of The Academy is 84. They wheel those people in from Palm Springs and hook up their IVs and they vote. The people that go to movies are under the age of 28, for the most part, so there's this total disconnect between what the Academy thinks is a great movie and what the audience actually wants to see.
You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America.
Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
I made the mistake of watching "A. I. " on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching it every time it was on.
The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't act polite around older people.
Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.
The movies that are honored at The Oscars are always a certain type: Old-fashioned. It's a bunch of well-made, old-fashioned movies that support our idea of ourselves. They uplift the human spirit. That's why horror films never even get nominated.
There is no post-911. Everything from now until the end of time is post-911.
I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if they passed him over again. He'll get one of The Oscars they give you at the end of your life because they feel guilty for never giving you an Oscar.