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Gary Gulman Biography

Gary Lewis Gulman (born July 17, 1970) is an American stand-up comedian. He was a finalist on the NBC reality-talent show Last Comic Standing (seasons 2 and 3). In season 2, he finished in third place behind John Heffron and Alonzo Bodden. In 2005, he released his first CD, Conversations With Inanimate Objects.

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Gary Gulman Quotes

I was born when my dad was 50. . . It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.

Born, Dad, Discounts, Growing, Growing Up, Older

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Coffee, Down, Keys, Paper, Stops, Telling

The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.

Guy, Hair, People, Talk, Thing

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

Comedian, People, Surprising, Thinking, Together

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

Guitar, Gypsy, Remarkable, Talent, Women

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

Changed, Hobbies, Loneliness, Nerd

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

Charlie, Child, Children, Closely, Identified, Teacher

Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.

Fun, Night, Long, Script, People

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

Brother, Component, Laughing, Money, People, Thinking

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

People, Real, Talk, Thinking, Valley, Veal

I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now. ' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.

Fall, Netflix, Night, Sleep, Toy

I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.

Challenge, Confidence, Crippling, Think, Thinking, Writing

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Over You, Red, Pens, Pen, Back

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard. . . Some people slow down at those things. . . I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.

Attention, Dashboards, Found, People, Things

I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.

Boston, Catholic, College, Jew, Nickname

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

Eat, Meals, People, Shaped, Square, Squares

With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.

Athlete, Basketball, Night, Say, Wrong

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.

Growing, Usual, Watch, Watches

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

Records, Worked, Writing, Wrote, Years

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

Athletic, Brother, Brothers, Hard, Strangers And Friends, Years

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