I followed what the dog did. . . then I realized I was human.
Hasty counsels are generally followed by repentance.
My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What. . . is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh. . . yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.
Make your choice, adventurous Stranger, Strike the bell and bide the danger, Or wonder, till it drives you mad, What would have followed if you had.