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Michael Ian Black Biography

Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black (born Michael Ian Schwartz; August 12, 1971) is an American comedian, actor, writer, and director. He has starred in several TV comedy series, including The State, Viva Variety, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, The Comedy Quarter-hour, Michael & Michael Have Issues, and Another Period. He also appeared on Celebrity Poker Showdown several times. He released his first children's book, Chicken Cheeks, in 2009, and has since released six more, in addition to four books for adults.

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Michael Ian Black Quotes

If you say "I'm going to be an actor, but I'll get a teaching degree just in case," when things get hard, you'll just be a teacher and that's how you get stuck.

Degrees, Stuck, Teacher, Teaching, Things

I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.

Chase, Effort, Hands, Know, Knows, Things

As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It's fun to do. But it's certainly not myself in totality - or even maybe a little bit.

Fun, Opinion, Reality, Thinking

I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

Cause, Causes, Certain, Levels, Self, Writer

There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that's what a parent's tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope.

Feelings, Nostalgic, Pain, Parent, Tears, Word

You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there's a lot of rules there, literal and implied, that you have to navigate.

Architecture, Cases, Contestant, Games, Implied, Show

I loved Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to be: warrior, wizard, dwarf, thief.

Character, Dice, Dragons, Dwarf, Opportunity, Warrior

If I revise a children's book, if I'm spending three hours on the first draft, I'm probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That's hard work.

Book, Children, Come, Hard Work, Painting, Probably

I thought I'd be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I'd do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn't come to pass, and I think that's a great experience.

Comedy, Plan, Think, Thinking, Thought, Trying

The things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.

Cream, Dad, Husband, Ice, Ice Cream, Pedestrian

You can't write a children's book that takes more than five or six minutes to read, because it will drive the parents batty. It has to be compact. Nobody thinks about the parents when they write these stupid books. I could write longer children's books, but it would actually be bad if I did.

Book, Books, Children, Stupid, Takes, Thinks

I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, "Oh, what have I seen you in?"

Actors, Admit, Horrible, Next, Question

Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books that I write - and it's the only kinds of books I'm capable of writing.

Book, Kids, Like, Silly, Writing

As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.

Actor, Four, Three, Tv Shows, Years

I'm not sure what it would mean to have "made it. " Made what? Yes, I can make a decent living in show business, so if that's the criteria, then I've made it. But that doesn't feel that important to me. The stuff that matters to me are the new challenges. I know that sounds hokey, but it's true.

Challenges, Make, Mean, Sounds, Yes I Can

I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs from supermarket gumball machines.

Against, Defensive, Depression, Gumball, Thinking, Zero

Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there's so much business you have to conduct. There's so much guiding you have to do.

Game, Game Shows, Games, Hosting, Shows, Talk

Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.

Money, Publish, Write, Writing

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power. '

Annoying, Fame, Internet, Money, Power

Twitter is about creating whatever persona you want to create and either sticking with it or changing it or evolving it or contradicting it, and I've done all that stuff.

Contradicting, Create, Creating, Done, Evolving, Want

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