Judith Martin (née Perlman; born September 13, 1938), better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist, author, and etiquette authority.
Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be.
Etiquette enables you to resolve conflict without just trading insults. Without etiquette, the irritations in modern life are so abrasive that you see people turning to the law to regulate everyday behavior. This frightens me; it's a major inroad on our basic freedoms.
You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you. . . There are plenty of people who say, 'We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.
The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor andor person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.
it's no longer socially acceptable to make bigoted statements and racist remarks. Some people are having an awful time with that: 'I didn't know anybody would be offended!' Well, where have you been? I remember when people got away with it and they don't anymore. That's fabulous.
Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes.
Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness.
A general rule of etiquette is that one apologizes for the unfortunate occurrence, but the unthinkable is unmentionable.
Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one.
Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily.
We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is grand opera.
People say when you're in love, you don't need etiquette. Well, you need it then more than anything. Or they say, "At home I can just be myself. " What they mean is they can be their worst selves. . . They always mean they will save all their anxiety about how to behave for somebody like the head waiter of a restaurant, someone they'll never see again.
Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open.
We have the reverse of the Puritan work ethic in America now. No one ever becomes a star by plugging along year after year. What is needed is flair, talent, 'an eye,' contacts, charisma, and, most of all, naturalness.
many of the guests will eventually leave the table to watch football on television, which would be a rudeness at any other occasion but is a relief at Thanksgiving and probably the only way to get those people to budge.
Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue.
Manners require showing consideration of all human beings, not just the ones to whom one is close.
It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Nowadays people consider it a disgrace to admit that they are not stressed.