To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune.
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life
The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
Even if they had it in the streets, I wouldn't go.
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
Marriage is the death of hope.
The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me. ' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man. ' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible.
If I became a philosopher, if I have so keenly sought this fame for which I'm still waiting, it's all been to seduce women basically.
Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.
I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C. S. I.
People ask what those women saw in me. Let's face it, I wasn't a bad-looking stud. But that's not it. It's the music; it's standing up there under the lights. A lot of women just flip; looks have nothing to do with it. You call Mick Jagger good-looking?
If you assume you haven't learned anything yet, there's no reason your playing can't stay dynamic all your life.
To know that one knows what one knows, and to know that one doesn't know what one doesn't know, there lies true wisdom.
