Mason Cooley (1927 – July 25, 2002) was an American aphorist known for his witty aphorisms. One of these such aphorisms Cooley developed was "The time I kill is killing me."
Somehow the body keeps life going despite the ravaging negations of the mind.
My self-absorption warms me; yours boils me.
The squabbles of philandering Zeus and shrewish Hera are the Greeks' comment on married life.
There is a line between a definite maybe and an indefinite yes.
I am interested in a hundred things, but only slightly.
Orgies are an early form of what will someday become sex by committee.
People often are unsure whether or not they are in love, but they generally know whether or not they are having sex.
Drunks conjure an endless drama from their bottles.
Beware of wallflowers. They expect to have everything done for them.
When my beloved arrives, I yawn. When my beloved departs, I weep.
Magic trick: to make people disappear, ask them to fulfill their promises.
Let's have some good, old-fashioned literature, with a virgin and a moral.
I have learned to keep to myself how exceptional I am.
Listen to what people say about themselves; they will tell you everything you need to know.
Always clamping down on excitement is not self-control but fear.
Repetition comforts me for a time, then closes in.
Nostalgia paints a smile on the stony face of the past.
Children must be protected not because they are innocent but because they are powerless.
The perfect pleasure: money is neither fattening nor immoral nor illegal.
Modernism: the books are as hard to understand as life itself.
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